Blackout.

Mother.

We live in a world full of fear, uncertainty and doubt, poisoned by this mean world syndrome.

i got hungry.

breakdown.

Eternal life comes in the form of death,
to those misunderstood.
Happiness shines through strongest,
when one self-destructs.
Knowledge is sought and obtained,
with all senses shut off.
Love is most commonly seen,
through the eyes of someone you hate.
Religion is most fulfilling,
when you can't understand anything at all.

asdrhgwrhejeajhrfas!!!!!!

defences are low.

$3.95

Can I please have a set of divorced parents, a proper diagnosis, three drug addictions, a rape claim, something sharp, some new pills, bad grades, no friends, a drinking problem, someone to hate me, someone to miss me, a broken nose, a criminal record, a death in the family and a trip to the emergency room.

acquaintances.

broken, glass.

She was sick of that address,
of order and manner,
she needed a place where she never felt safe.

She cut her hair,
she blackened her eyes,
everything told from now on was her brand new lie.

The roaming of the streets,
was all that she needed,
the warmth of the unknown lingered on her back.

The soft white and spines,
created a numbing stimulation,
she started running and has never wondered what she could have had.

Once in a while,
she hears them calling,
but they don't know each other, she can't go back.

analogy.

Like all things sharp
here is your life
born to conspire
to burn
to hide

Like all things phony
here is your world
molded into shape
to live
to die

Like all things ugly
here is your conscience
filled with anger
to scream
to cry

i hate eli.

I can't win.
When I'm with you I'm a mess.
Yet when we're apart, I crave you.
The withdrawals are making me sweat.
I don't sleep, I don't feel.
All I can do is think.
Think, and feel nothing at all.
The ability to laugh, cry and feel pain have suddenly been lost.
I'm lost.
You're invading my head.
Curl up into a ball; I love the fetal position.
Fragments of my mind are killing themselves.
Not even they can stand me anymore.
I'd rather hate you than feel nothing at all.
My subconscious is reduced to fumbling through what I know to make myself feel better.
Diagnose me, don't just shut me up.
I want to destroy everything I see, I want to cry.
I want the strength to kill you.
I want the ability to hate you.
But more than ever, I need you.

fault.

Don't blame Elizabeth for my death,

maybe for the way I died,

but I was going to do it all along anyway.
She just put it into perspective,

made it glamorous and well,

took the effort of the whole planning thing away.
Sure, it's her fault if you want,

but you can't avoid the rest of them,

Holden, Jack, Tyler.
It's like one giant void,
not seen through your eyes,
more liked cried through mine.
I don't want to be anything,
living or dead,
and I do not want to be your sympathy case.

friday.

echo.

I outstretch my arms
call out to the prolonged emptiness
wait for its silent reply
begin to struggle to and fro
head spins as I escape my body
cry forever when I see the sky
now hold your breath until you turn blue
smile when your eyes burst
the only shades you see are grey
in out in out
take me to the end.

how cute.