i hate eli.

I can't win.
When I'm with you I'm a mess.
Yet when we're apart, I crave you.
The withdrawals are making me sweat.
I don't sleep, I don't feel.
All I can do is think.
Think, and feel nothing at all.
The ability to laugh, cry and feel pain have suddenly been lost.
I'm lost.
You're invading my head.
Curl up into a ball; I love the fetal position.
Fragments of my mind are killing themselves.
Not even they can stand me anymore.
I'd rather hate you than feel nothing at all.
My subconscious is reduced to fumbling through what I know to make myself feel better.
Diagnose me, don't just shut me up.
I want to destroy everything I see, I want to cry.
I want the strength to kill you.
I want the ability to hate you.
But more than ever, I need you.